A Taylor Swift album for every era of my life (and an accidental history of my first heartbreak)
Photo by Marah Bashir on Unsplash
Late last summer, Taylor Swift announced the release date for a new album, October 21st, called Midnights. The internet obviously lost its mind at this news, which catapulted me into an algorithm-fueled spiral of all things Taylor Swift.
After spending too many hours watching concert clips on TikTok late at night, it occurred to me that all of her albums represent a specific time period in my life. I assume this is not a unique experience, especially considering her main audience has always been young girls, whose lives are always changing at a rapid pace and we’re getting our hearts broken for the first times.
Here is part 1, all of my thoughts on her first 3 albums. Part 2 will be linked at the bottom of this article once I write it. No promises that there won’t be a part 3 to finish the lineup (spoiler alert, there are at least 4 parts). There are just too many good songs. I can’t help it.
Image via Wikipedia
Taylor Swift- 2006
This is my least favorite album. I am not a fan of country music in general, unless it’s overtly sassy and angry (Ex: Carrie Underwood or Miranda Lambert). This album was too cute for me. It came out in my early high school years, and I was far too angry and angsty to relate to it.
But then, when I had my first heartbreak my senior year of high school, suddenly “Tim McGraw”, “Picture to Burn”, and “Teardrops on my Guitar” were absolute bangers. “I realized you love yourself more than you could ever love me”. “she’s got everything that I have to live without”. We should have known that she’d be a star just from these three songs. And “I’ve never been anywhere cold as you”? Pain. “A mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you”? Pop genius.
The rest of the album is too country for me, but I can still appreciate others like “Should’ve Said No” and “Our Song”, despite the twang.
Fearless- 2008
I appreciated this album simply for the ability to belt the songs out in your car while also pretending that you don’t like Taylor Swift. We all lied to ourselves, didn’t we? “You Belong With Me” and “Love Story” obviously hit hard.
“Fifteen” again didn’t hit quite right until my first heartbreak and then, once again, Taylor stepped in to beautifully and horrifically describe everything I was feeling. “White Horse” cuts deep with “My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand”.
“Forever & Always” still burns a little with “Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest? Made you run and hide like a scared little boy”. Isn’t that everyone’s first love?
Can’t forget “You’re Not Sorry”, which captures the anger when, near the end of healing, you realize that he’s not crying over you, is he? He never did.
The trauma that she so eloquently expressed at 19 is something that most of us don’t figure out how to articulate until.. well, sometimes ever.
Speak Now- 2010
This album is where my love for her truly started. It reminds me of sitting in my dorm room freshman year of college- heartbroken, lonely, and depressed. I was still recovering from my first heartbreak, one that was cruelly drug out for months after the actual breakup due to both of our traumas and lack of boundaries. Once it finally ended, I was truly alone. I was struggling in college socially and feeling the true weight of being alone, physically and romantically.
“Mine” and “Sparks Fly” and “Enchanted” are fun and cute but also reminded me of what I no longer had. But they are just so damn catchy and I couldn’t stop listening. “Give me something that’ll haunt me when you’re not around”. Don’t worry, he did.
“Back to December”- I hear this and still get chills. I listened to this song on repeat and felt immense grief during that winter and the one year “anniversary” that I never had with my ex rolled around. “I go back to December all the time” she sings, as did I, replaying our whole relationship and wondering what I should have done differently. (Spoiler alert: he had so much deep childhood trauma that nothing I did or didn’t do could have changed the outcome of that relationship, but I didn’t realize that until years later. For now… I just wallowed in my pain).
“Speak Now”- Did I mention that this ex of mine was now engaged to my friend’s roommate? (yes, engaged at 18, what could possibly go wrong?) This song reminds me that I probably should have jumped in and told her everything I knew about him and how he was sure to hurt her too. He broke both our hearts repeatedly on and off for a year, and sadly she eventually agreed to marry him. Thankfully for her, they broke up before the wedding and I’m sure she is happier without him. He, on the other hand, has been married 3 times by age 30, so he’s clearly not healed himself yet.
“Dear John”- good lord, this song hurts. “Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you”. Stop it Taylor, just stop. “I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules every day”. “Never impressed by me acing your tests. All the girls that you run dry have tired lifeless eye cause you burned them out”. As an adult now, I want to scream at my younger self and show her the textbook narcissism and inner child wounds that this man had. But instead, I just have the memories of loneliness, of thinking that I could fix him.
“I used to know my place was a spot next to you, now I’m searching the room for an empty seat”. I could recite literally every single lyric to “The Story of Us” and relate it to my life at this time. The irony of heartbreak is that it is so universal and yet so isolating. Thank God for Taylor to keep me company.
“Innocent”. This song is vaguely sad in a way that I needed to hear at the time. I was lonely, bored, and isolated my freshman year of college in a way that no one prepared me for. For multiple reasons, “Lost your mind trying to get it back”. A chronically depressed girl’s mantra. “Did some things you can’t speak of, but at night you live it all again”. I may need to talk to my therapist about this entire album, actually.
I am listening to the album as I write this and every time a new song starts, I think OMG ANOTHER ONE??? How can she write so many great songs at once? “Haunted” perfectly captures the feeling of, when people say that you’ll move on and find someone new, and somehow that makes you feel even worse. “Can’t breathe whenever you’re gone”. You don’t want someone new, you just want them back. And like a ghost, you feel them and see them in everything. You are haunted by the memories. “You’re not gone, you can’t be gone”.
Oh look, another one. “Last Kiss”. Jesus Taylor, give my heart a break. “I don’t know how to be something you miss”. *insert crying emoji*. All I wanted was for him to miss me. To miss ME, not just miss a body laying next to him.
“I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep”. This is the tragedy of social media. I’d lay there in my dorm bed, scrolling Facebook, seeing him plan a wedding to a girl I knew, and I’d feel like I was the most alone person on the planet. “I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”.
Next, I’d keep scrolling and see a picture of an old classmate drunk at a party, or eating lunch with their roommate, and I’d sink into my mind even more, wondering what was wrong with me and why I had no one. “I never planned on your changing your mind”. This is probably my favorite song of the album. Bold statement, I know. How could I even possibly choose?
Let me know your favorite Taylor album or songs. Stay tuned for Part 2, in which my life gets happier and Taylor’s music gets even better!
Click here to shop Taylor's albums: Taylor Swift albums.
Some links in this blog post and in other areas of the website are affiliate links. This allows me to earn a small commission if you visit or buy something from the link (at no cost to you!)